Changed- A testimony of my life and how God has changed me.

Having thought a lot about my life and how I came to be, I realized I have never really thought about my testimony. I wanted to write it down and just share it with anyone who will listen. I am not perfect in any way, just saved by the Grace of God! :)I have also included pictures throughout the years so you can kind of have a sense of being there with me. Enjoy! I was saved when I was 8 years old. I distinctively remember talking to Pastor David Carboni in his office about what it means to become a Christian. We talked about God sending His son to die on the cross for us and believing that He died for our sins to save us. I walked down the aisle the next Sunday and made the decision in front of my church, Crumly Chapple United Methodist, in Forestdale, AL. Being a Methodist, we were "sprinkled" as infants. I went through confirmation classes and started my spiritual journey that day. "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9 When I was in 7th grade, my family switched churches and we started attending Westwood Baptist. We joined the church, and having accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I was baptized as the next step in my spiritual walk. I specifically remember doing this because it was just my luck that the people who helped with baptisms, were my crush's parents. I walk down the first step in the baptism and then slipped into the water. The church members giggled as I struggled to get up. The pastor said some witty remark about me being too eager to walk down all the steps, ha. Talk about embarrassment, ha. Needless to say, I was baptized that day and publicly declared my love for the Lord following in the second step, believers baptism. "I baptize you my brother (sister), in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. ... buried with Christ in baptism, raised to walk in newness of life." "Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved..." ~ Mark 16:16 Throughout my time at Westwood, I attended several Disciple Nows, Mission Trips, VBSs, and got involved with Drama, Choir, and AWANAS. I was enjoying my time learning about the Lord and all He has done. I grew leaps and bounds in my relationship with Him and I am thankful for that time in my life where I had mentors, great encouraging friends, and a spiritual background that was being developed. My high school years were some of the fondest memories in my spiritual walk that I look back on and am thankful for. I had a wonderful christian boyfriend who encouraged me, loved me, and taught me more about the bible and what being a christian meant. He prayed for me, with me, and was someone to whom I always looked up to. I never realized the impact his faith would have on me and my walk with the Lord. I am thankful for Jeffrey and what his life did for me and still does when I reminisce. In time though, his family moved and we ended up breaking up because the distance was too hard for me. He was an important part in my life and while he lives in Texas and we don't speak much, I am thankful God put him in my life and I am so proud of the man he has become today. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 When I graduated and went to TROY, my relationship with the Lord was there. I prayed, read the bible, tried to get involved in church there and the BCM, but I could never find the "right place." I struggled a lot during my time at college, and slacked off in my relationship with Him. I am not proud of my unwillingness to fight harder to keep Him the center of my life, but I am grateful that He forgives and offers His Grace daily. I went through a lot of doubt while at college. It is a trying time where tons of students are trying to figure out life and where it was going to take them. I already knew what I was supposed to do in my life. God told me while in Chicago at Urban Connect, that I was to work with children. I also knew since I was 8, that I wanted to be a teacher like Mrs. Cunningham and my mom. I think in a way, I was so certain of all this, that I wanted to do things my way and see if I could have a little of uncertainty in my life. I know that may not make sense, but I guess I tried to shake things up for a bit. College was a wonderful experience and I learned a lot, not only about myself, but about other as well. I am thankful for my relationships while at school and the things they taught me. I only wish I would have focused more on my relationship with God, than with others. I took for granted the fact that He would always be there for me. While in college, my relationship with God was like a roller coaster. One year we were fabulous, and the next, I slacked off pushing Him aside a bit. It went like this my entire time. Crazy, I know, ha. But one of the best, if not the best, experiences of my life was being able to work at Pine Cove Christian Camps in Tyler, TX. Now I love me some Texas, ha. I had always wanted to go there since Jeffrey was from there and he constantly talked about how great it was. I had been to Texas only in passing through the airport terminal on my way to California a couple of times. It was cool then, but I only realized how awesome it was living there for 2 summers. Pine Cove Towers was amazing!!! I could work at PC the rest of my life and never get tired of it. It is like living in your own little PC bubble, we would always say. The staff were amazing and I grew so much in my faith those two summers (2008, 2009). I got to lead 4 of my sweet campers to Christ and seeing how God could work though the minds of 1st-5th graders, always amazed me. They brought to life the meaning of child-like faith. Seeing how they could grasp how much God loves them and how we cannot live our lives without Him, reminded me of when I became a Christian and the young age of 8. We think because they are young, they cannot grasp the whole concept of God and what He sent His Son to do for us. While in reality maybe they can't grasp the complexity of it all, but they know that God is sovereign and He is The Man! Working for Pine Cove taught me to be selfless and put other first in being Christ-like. I learned to study my bible and pray daily. I was on my way to becoming the person/Christian that God created me to be. I went back to college, I started dating a boy who I thought I would marry one day. When he broke up with me, I felt my world crashing before me. I started to doubt everything, like most girls do after a break up. God was there to pick up my pieces and show me that He had better plans for my life than one boy. He also showed me that I replaced Him with Stephen. I relied on Stephen and our relationship for things that only God could give me. The rest of my college days were spent struggling to find where I was in God's plan for my life and Him showing me the way and loving me through it all. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 Post college was not easy. In fact, it was the hardest time of my life. I graduated in December of 2010, not exactly the best time in the teaching field. Not only did I graduate in the middle of the school year, but I graduated in the time where it was the hardest to find a teaching job. It was rare to find a job in education because of the recession and lack of funding. I relied on God to handle my job and He in fact came through like I knew He would.:) I subbed at Oak Grove and had a wonderful experience there. The upcoming Summer had me worried sick about finding a job. I worried and worried until God showed me that He will provide for my needs and fulfill His promises. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34. I received 2 offers that year; one as a 2nd grade teacher at Sumiton Christian, and the other as a long-term sub at Brookville Elementary in Jefferson County. There were hardly any jobs available and I was blessed enough to get two offers. God provided for my needs. It wasn't until January of 2012 that I really took a big step back in my faith and relationship with God. I am not proud of this, but for that whole year.. I can count on 2 hands the amount of times I went to church. I get teary eyed just thinking of that year because it is my least favorite part of my life. I can't believe that everything that God did for me and the blessing he bestowed on my life, I just threw it away like it was nothing. Yes I still believed in God and I never really doubted Him, I was just tired of being Cadie. I was tired of always being the "good girl" and tired of being "predictable". I had never done anything unexpected and lived my life the same as I always had. The devil definitely got the best of me. I went out to bars and drank some trying to figure out who I was and I tried looking in all the wrong places. Now when I say drink, I mean this lightly. I have never been one to get drunk every weekend or drink until I black out. I see nothing wrong with drinking; I'm not saying it's bad. I do however think taking it too far should never happen. I had a few times where I took it further than I should and again, I'm not proud of that moment in my life. I was caught up in the moment of feeling like a rebel, if you will. I had never once been rebellious or strayed too far from my upbringing. To some people this may not seem at all indifferent, but to me it was.I knew it was wrong yet I kept doing it. I am by no means proud of this dark time in my life, but I am thankful that it happened. It is my past, but it also made my stronger in my faith in God. I realized quick that that life was one that I was not meant to take part in. I was desperately trying to seek the answers I thought I needed in something other than the only thing I could get the real answers from. God got a hold of me with a firm, and I mean firm wake up call."All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned everyone to his own way, and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all." Isaiah 53:6. This reminds me of the Parable of the Lost son in Luke 15."I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate."... But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” Luke 15: 18-24, 32 I got a job teaching Kindergarten at Oak Grove Elementary for the 2012-2013 school year. This was one of the biggest blessings in my life. After the last 7ish months of "rebellion", I was working my way back to God and asking for forgiveness for that horrible, messed up time of my life. I hate for it to be in my testimony, but I believe that I went through that to make me realize how amazing my life is with God. I appreciate my life so much more now knowing that what the world has to offer is complete garbage compared to the riches God will give me. God quickly forgave me because His Grace is overwhelming and I literally felt Him open His arms for me when I ran back to Him crying and apologizing for not trusting in Him and giving in to my sinful nature. I haven't looked back since. I have been going to Church of The Highlands off and on since I moved back home in December 2010. It is a big church and I just felt like another number in a sense, because I didn't make any effort to get plugged in. I made a commitment at the beginning of 2013 that I would listen to every message that was preached. Pastor Chris is an amazing man of God and I absolutely love him. I knew I wanted to join the church in January, but missed the growth track for 101 that month. I started the growth track on 201 the following Sunday and finished it February 3 with me joining the church. I felt at home. God had been telling me that this is where I was supposed to be and having relinquished all my fears and my life to Him, I followed His command. Since joining Highlands I have gotten involved in the Dream Team serving with our students at Motion and even came out of my comfort zone, overcame my insecurities and anxieties, and joined a fabulous small group. I cannot tell you enough how immensely God has blessed me this year. Pastor Chris said, "This will be the best year of your life, IF it is the best year of your life spiritually." I have held to that statement and it is true beyond words. And that leads me to where I am today in my walk with my ever-so loving and wonderful maker. "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14 I have grown in my faith and love for the Lord this year and I feel like I know Him on such a deeper level. With that being said, I wanted to show the Lord how much His grace and mercy mean to me. I rededicated my life to Him on February 14, 2013. Coincidentally it is Valentines Day, the day of love, and He was my Valentine, <3. I had been thinking God wanted me to take the next step and get baptized. I tried to rationalize this by having already done so when I was 12 at Westwood. He however, would not have it. The thought from Pine Cove crept into my thoughts and changed me once again. "The first step of obedience is faith; the first step of faith is obedience." I knew that I had faith in Him and what he tells me to do, so I knew I would be obedient in doing it. So this past Sunday, June 2, 2013, I got my strength from the Lord and got baptized in front of my church friends and could not have been more ecstatic!! Just the freedom and the weight being lifted off my chest was more than I could have ever asked for. I knew what I was doing was in obedience in what God told me to do, and I felt it. I was not nervous or anything walking up which totally surprised me, but then it didn't. God was with me and gave me the confidence I needed to do it. He has shown Himself to me in so many ways and stays with me through it all. I am a sinner by nature, but I have been redeemed!!. "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." ~ Acts 2:38 The Rascal Flatts' song "Changed" says it all.. I came up out of the water Raise my Hands up to the father Gave it all to him that day Felt a new wind kiss my face Walked away, Eyes wide open Could finally see where I was going Didn't matter where I been I'm not the same man I was then. I got off track, I made mistakes Back slid my way into that place where souls get lost Lines get crossed and the pain won't go away I hit my knees, Now here I stand There I was, now here I am Here I am Changed I am currently in two small groups in which I am in love with. I am also reading, "The Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson and have been blown away by only the first few chapters. I definitely cannot wait to dig in and see what else it can show me. My prayer life has already changed and I cannot wait for God to really show me things while I am learning to change my prayer life. :) All this being said, I am thankful for my life and what it has brought me to. Yes there have been mistakes, and there will be plenty more, but I know He loves me and will forgive me as soon as I confess. While I am still struggling a bit with my insecurities, I am finding that I am whole and complete in God and it gives me comfort. God is great, wonderful, powerful, loving, enduring, and most of all forgiving. I am thankful that He loved me so much, that he sent his son to die on the cross for little ole me. :) (John 3:16)

I've got a feeling..

The absolute best feeling in the world is when God is talking to you. No other feeling in the world compares when God is tugging at your heart telling you something. Tonight at small group, God was telling me to listen and listen carefully. I cant tell you how many times God has spoken to me over the last 3 months. I am loving it!!! He has been speaking to me through people, texts, and more importantly songs on the radio and even my dreams. If I told you all the signs He has given me over the last 6 weeks, you would think I'm crazy. There is no other explanation other than God talking to me. I am a firm believer that God will speak to us in ways that we can hear and will take hold of. For me, it is definitely songs and my dreams. I know God is working in me a new life and one that will be the most amazing and spectacular life I could only dream of. He is changing me from the inside out. I take hold of what Pastor Chris ( Church of the Highlands, Birmingham) has said. "This will be the best year of your life, if it is the best year of your life spiritually." Well, I am more in love with God than I have ever been. I have diligently been seeking his word and his will for my life. I have gotten involved with a small group that I am head over heels in love with. I am serving on a team with the church and have stepped out of my comfort zone all for the sake of knowing Him more, and I have never felt more alive and purposeful than I do now. I am so thankful for God's hand of protection over my life and for saving me from an awful eternity in Hell. I am thankful that I know him and believe that He can change my life for the better. I cannot wait to see what else He has planned for my life. I know it will be amazing and wonderful and only things I could dream of will happen because I have fully given my life to him and trust that He will provide everything I need. That is all I need in this world. The love of Christ and a heart for serving Him. The song we sang tonight says it all. No Place I'd rather be No Place I'd rather be No place I'd rather be Here in your Love, Here in your love Set a Fire Down in my Soul That I cant contain that I cant control I want more of you God I want more of you God

Back on track..

Being in my early twenties I have found out that it is hard to figure out who you are. Alot of your fears and insecurities come into play and sometimes they just get the best of you. I have had more doubt in the past 4 years about my life than any other time. I think it's a trying part of life to be in your twenties. I know many people go through this and as bad as that seems, there is comfort knowing that other people struggled and have come through this part of their life successfully. I know who I am supposed to be because God has told me. Things havent been working out and I am so impatient. I tried to take my life into my own hands to see if I could make it better. WHAT A MISTAKE!! I know I shouldn't have even tried but I am human and want instant gratification. Proverbs 16:9 says "a man's heart plans his ways but the Lord determins his steps." I know this verse like the back of my hand and what it means. Yet I still ignored God and took to my own ways. I got tired of living the "good girl" life and tried to live of the world hoping to find some clarity as to what my identity should be. Romans 12:12 " do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Again, I know all this but tried I run the other way. I would t be surprised is God was yelling at me to come back because he knows I know better. But then again he is a gracious God and will never disown me. I have been pushing him away and I've gone further and further from Him. All it takes is one step back and I'm rigt back in his arms. That is he beauty of my forgiving and loving God. He will always take me back no matter what. My happiness is through Him and oh Him. He world cannot make me happy nor can any other person. My hope comes from the Lord and He is all I need!! I choose to be happy and full of Him. I choose to not worry or be bitter and unhappy about my life. I choose to live for Him and get back to what I know is right for me. I choose to be his daughter and love and seek to know him more. I choose to be me!

When it hits.

Do you ever feel like God just sometimes smacks you in the face with emotion, feeling,thought, or curiosity? I was doing grad school work and all of a sudden it just hit me. It is so strange when this stuff happens, comical even. I know i haven't been in the word lately and because of that I feel like I have taken some steps back. I think everyone goes through these stages of life and I know i have been here before. The GREATEST thing about our God is that he never ceases to give up on us. As much as I have pushed him away lately and have slipped and put distance between us, He never once left my side. I felt like I have put miles and miles between us, but the first step I take back to Him, I am pushed into His arms. And THAT makes me smile. :) As a flood of emotion comes over me i cannot grasp my mind around the idea that He will always love a sinner and confused person like me. I am so unworthy of his unfailing love and do not deserve any of it. He amazes me daily with his forgiveness and I cannot thank HIm enough for simply loving me. A pathetic, sinner, shameful, girl like me. I am so blessed to have a God who not only doesnt give up on me when i stray away from him, but welcomes me with open arms and an unfailing love. He is my Savior. He is MY God. He is my Father.

I serve an on-time God.

A year ago tomorrow, I was worried about not being able to graduate on time because I didnt file my intent to grad. Now a year later I am worried about not finding a job for the upcoming school year. It's crazy how God works!! Just in time for me to start school last year, I recieved a letter from the university stating I could file my intent late and be able to graduate on time. I also feel that God is going to provide for me a job in the upcoming year, but like last time, it will be on his time. Concidence or not? It's ironic also that the time I found out I could graudate last year was August 3. The time I find out about the job this year is August 2. HOW CRAZY IS THAT!!!!! But is it crazy at all? God knows everything! All we have to do is trust him. And with this particular job it has worried me about taking it simple beacuse it will be my first real decision ive had to make as an "adult". I hate using that term, but that is what I have become. An adult. As I was reading my bible last night, I came across a verse. “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid." John 14:27. And it hit me. If im supposed to be at this job, God will provide a way for me and it will give me all the peace in the world because it came from Him. I know it may be too early to tell, but I finally feel my life is coming into place and things are starting to happen for me. Who knows what the future holds for my life. But the greatest thing is that I know who holds the future. My Jesus, My KING!!!!!

Faith

"God's plan for your life isnt a map you see all at once but a scroll unrolled a little at a time, requiring faith." Rick Warren

I really like this quote. It's simple, yet empowering at the same time. I know I for one am not patient at all. I'm at a point in life much like a crossroad, not knowing which path to take. I just want to find a place to fit in and feel like this is where I am supposed to be. I know a lot of people go through this, but it doesn't make it any easier. I constantly ask God what am I supposed to be doing, where is my life heading, am I going to get this job, get married, stay in alabama... He patiently answers, "Just wait my child. What I have in store for you is beyond what you could have ever imagined for yourself." I tell him okay, then go back to constantly wondering what my life will be like. Faith is the answer. Faith that He will work my life out and Faith that it will be in His perfect timing. I needed to hear this and to be reminded of it is not me controlling my life, but Him. I love little reminders like this and I love how my God loves me enough to send them.

times get troubling..

Life isnt always fair. Life isnt always easy. And life isnt always pretty. In those times where life seems to have knocked you down to the ground, you must get right back up and face it head on. For myself, it is a hard thing to come by. Mostly because i am as stubborn as they come. :) (which I am totally working on!) These verses help me to remember that I am not alone. God is there watching over me and waiting for me to turn to Him in hope and trust.

Psalm 34
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all.

Psalm 40:1-2
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

1 Cor. 10:13
...God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it

And life totally throws you curve balls. I, however, swing anways. As a result of me not being where I should be and being tempted by spending all my waking hours on facebook and twitter all the while wishing I was somewhere else or someone else, I have deleted these for the time being. I need a chance to figure out things about myself that I cant do when im spending my time focusing on other things besides myself. I know that I will come out understanding things better now that I have extra time to focus on who I am as a person and allow God to reveal to me where my path lies. I look forward to this journey He and I will travel together. I ask for your prayers as looking inward to myself can be troubling and and uneasy road for me. Thank you in advance for your consideraion and prayers.

Much love,
Cadie :)