this is the best year to date!!!!! so many things are going well and I am so in love with my life. God has truly been blessing me day by day and showing me how awesome his love is. I am learning so much from when my focus is only on him. He is in control of my life and it has never felt better!!!

on the more personal note.. i have been subbing at high school and it is intense. ha. I love education but i am definitely more comfortable with my precious little elementary students. I cannot wait to be a teacher and have my own classroom and my own little kids to shape and mold!! ohhh so exciting!!

being true to you..

Finding yourself is a process that I find many people await. It's not as easy as looking it up in the dictionary who you are supposed to be. I find that its about going through things to get to the deeper meaning of who you truly are. Digging in ways that at times can be the most difficult,but at others the most amazing. We put ourselves through tough times to see how strong we are, we put ourselves out there to see how emotional we are, and sometimes we pass, but others we fail. We change our look hoping that it will bring us some insight to who we are, but we get lost in another translation of trying to be something we are not. We try many new things as well, new tv, new music, new friends, new places to hang. Go on road trips and visit old friends, dying and trying to figure out who we are. We go to college, move away from home and develop relationships that can cause us pain or complete happiness. What is the purpose of doing this to ourselves??? To find out who we really are? Maybe in reality we already know who we are but we dont trust ourselves to be that person that is digging down deep inside. we have pushed them down that far and dont want them to surface. maybe its time we let our guard down and just be who we are meant to be. no masks, no shame. just you.

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer." ~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

life lessons..

Over my lifetime I have learned many life lessons that I will forever keep in my heart. Guard your heart, honor your parents, love one another, put others before yourself, pay your bills on time, the greatest truths in life are uncovered with simple, steady awareness, time will heal all wounds, regardless of how you feel at that moment, take lots of picture, bad things happen to good people, and the list goes on and on. Life's little lessons are a gift from God. I believe everything we do in our lives defines us and makes us who we are. We are allowed to learn from our mistakes and make choices that will forever guide our paths. Im just thankful for all of this. My life is not perfect, nor will it ever be. Ive made lots of mistakes and I will continue to make them. The best thing is to be happy with your life and live it to the fullest. You have one life, and one life only. Use it well, make memories, take time to just sit back and watch the sunset.. all of this stuff we take for granted. We are not guaranteed tomorrow.. live today as if it is your last. Love, Joy, Hope... Faith!!!


Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a futre.

What I want

I've got nothing left
I've given my best
And I know I can't do this
On my own
I'm torn between
Going after dreams
Or living with regret
Of letting go
I'm done with banging my head against the door
But can you peel me off this floor
Cuz I don't know if I can get up again
What I want may not be what I need
Have I been let down?
Or am I learning now?
To trust in what I cannot see
But I'm tired of trying to figure out what you want
And tired of always screwing up
But this is all of me
What I want may not be what I need
Just let it go…
What I want may not be what I need

Proverbs 4:23

"When I find myself frustrated, angry, annoyed, or having a stinky attitude, it's because of an unfulfilled expectation. This nips at me all the time. Learning to set aside unmet expectations unselfishly can be difficult."

-"We must renew our minds daily if we are going to have a renewing of our reactions to unmet expectations." "If then you have been raised with Christ, see the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth."

-taken from Emotional Purity, by Heather Arnel Paulsen

whoa.. I never knew how much the power of Satan had on a person who is doing the will of God. He was so much a part of my week that I just broke down and wanted to come home. I know I am at Pine Cove for a purpose and this past week was just sooo hard. Its because I let Satan in my life and to eat at my thoughts and actions. oh deeeear get away from me!! My God is AWESOME and loves me sooo much and has so much better plans for me. His strength raises me up when i am down and encourages me when i need help. When I finally realize I dont need anything or anyone but Him its instantly all better. WHOA MY GOD IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so blessed beyond measure.. wow... cant wait. this week I have Castle Rock which is the day camp and I have the 5th and 6th graders. I am sooo happy. Last week I had the 3rd graders, which they are precious, but I soo need a break from the poking and crying and homesickness.. ahh it was rough, but such a blessing at the same time. I love pc towers :)

ooooh here it comes!!

Texas is awesome and im soooo loving being here. at first it was a little awkward and at times i thought why am i even here.. what does God have planned for me.. and then i read our main verse, Ephesians 2:10." For we are God's masterpiece created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared for us in advance to do." This really made me realize that i am here for a reason and He as a perfect plan for my like and a reason i am supposed to be back at the Towers this summer.. although this is my last, im super glad im back. He is alredy stretching me over bounds and leaps and the kids havent even gotten here. This week i have 3rd graders. I am soooo pumpped about it and cannot wait!!! so i guess i must go and sleep.. i have the pc crud ahhh and medicine is wearing me out.

:))
Caadie